After days of not posting, I finally found the time and the mood to blog again. You see, I'm not in my best condition lately, but now thank God I'm feeling a bit better than last week. So this post doesn't contain tons of photos like what you guys are used to. I've been busy with studies and the student council so I don't have time to take outfit photos, attend events etc. I didn't even had the time to enjoy my 18th birthday. So many things are bothering me lately,so much to think about, I almost feel like bursting. Major bad timing I guess. I'm not being so emotional(emo) here or whatever, I just want to let it out. So this time, sorry if I'll fill up this post with tons of random thoughts that I can't get out of my head. I just want to share it to you guys because you might be wondering why I'm so M.I.A. lately and you see, my blog is my breathing place,I just figured I need to pause and breathe for a while.
I don't know how to start this seriously. Let's just say everything got screwed up. I realized the importance of time,effort and to have the best situation for every little thing in life. I can't help but wonder why when everything in your life seems so perfect, everything's in the right place, everything seems lovely then in just a snap, everything's screwed, gone. Forgive me if you're confused with what sort of things happened lately, I just think it'll be best if I don't mention proper names.
I also came up with the thought that, "You couldn't have it all." Yes, you can have this,you can have that,but you can't have all of these things at the same time.
Another is change. 'Change is permanent'. You can't stop things from changing. From time to time,it'll surely will. And sometimes, the change might be hurtful but the change is always for the better and maybe for the best.
"People are people and sometimes we change our minds,but it's killing me to see you go after all this time."-Taylor Swift ft. Colbie Caillat,Breathe
Sometimes,you just have to accept the fact that the change is for the best even though there's a part of you that wishes that it didn't happen.
I don't know what really happen. I don't know how I was taken away that way. One thing's for sure,this one's different. Too different that it caught me off guard.I didn't expect such things to happen, it happened so fast and now it's gone.
'To acknowledge feelings of hurt and anger is healthy, but to let them linger isn't.'
'I took a deep breath and let it go.'
Despite of all these realizations, I figured I'm still blessed that I have these people whom I call friends who never fails to make me realize that I still have a lot of beautiful things in my life than the darker ones. That I still have a lot of blessings in different aspects and I have to be thankful for that. They pushed me to look into the bright side again like what I used to do. I can tell I'm not myself lately and a lot of people even said that to me. Since even I can't endure being down in the dumps, I had enough. I'll help myself and get back in my usual positive vibe. Sorry for my unfathomable write ups haha!I just had to let it out :)
'I wish I could just press fast forward to see if it's all worth it in the end.'
Right now, I won't stop believing. I just hope that when the right time and situation comes, we'll be happy enough to face it and wouldn't regret whatever choices we made.
I'm really thankful for all the opportunities coming, it just means, I still have so many things for myself and these things just encourages me to do more of what I love and do it often :)
P.S.
I would like to thank everyone for all your sweet greetings,texts,calls,tweets,messages etc!You guys are the sweetest!Thanks for cheering me up and making me feel loved :)
XOXO,
Nicole
